Make your appeals, surveys, and other materials inclusive. Don’t identify people as husband or wife, or mother or father. “It should just say Parent 1 or Parent 2,” or spouse or partner, says Jen Meyers, director of development for Family Equality. “Be careful about the pronouns and assumptions.”
Make sure that database software can handle information on same-sex couples. It won’t do if the only option for addressing envelopes and letters to donors at a shared address is “Mr. and Mrs.” (or even the more modern “Mr. and Ms.”). “That’s a very big issue for a lot of gay and lesbian people,” says Janet Cohen, a fundraising consultant in Houston. “The surest way to turn off a prospective donor is by the names on the envelope.”
Ask what the couple likes to be called. Even if they’re not legally married, they may want to be recognized as husband and husband, or wife and wife. “There’s a lot more differentiation in terms of how each couple will identify their relationship,” says John Westfall-Kwong, director of development at Lambda Legal.
Think about tax issues. It’s not recognized by the federal government, and the Internal Revenue Service does not allow gay couples to file their taxes jointly. Some couples may want to split credit for the donation so each one can deduct half the sum on their taxes. “There’s just a lot of extra hassle that goes on that you might not even think about,” Mr. Westfall-Kwong says.
Establish an anti-bias policy for your organization. And tell donors about it: Publish it, use it in advertising, and put it on your Web site. “Your chances of attracting an LGBT donor who is savvy about that are a little bit better,” Ms. Cohen says. Many LGBT donors do check out the organization’s policy, she says: “To not have a nondiscrimination policy might prevent a gift from happening.”
Be careful about how to publicize names of donors. “If that donor is in a relationship, they should be asked if they want their partner included,” Ms. Cohen says. “It’s not safe to assume that all LGBT people give as couples.” Even married gay couples sometimes give individually.
Build a network. Consider joining gay business guilds or the gay Chamber of Commerce and attending their events. Go to meetings at the local gay and lesbian community center. “If I were a charity and I was looking to add to the database rich people with money, the easiest way to do it would be to get a booth at the annual Pride fest,” says Stephen Phelps, chief fundraiser at Doorways, a St. Louis charity that serves homeless people with HIV/AIDS. “It’s Development 101: get names.”
Do the little things. Feature gay couples in your annual report, recruit them to serve on the board, and advertise in publications aimed at them.
Put a rainbow on it. Stick a little rainbow—a symbol of gay pride and inclusion—on banners, e-mails or Web pages, says Roger Doughty, executive director of the Horizons Foundation, which supports gay and lesbian causes, in San Francisco. “They are small things,” he says. “They cost the organization essentially nothing, but it’s an issue of visibility and acknowledgment that are really, really important to LGBT couples.”